Respecting someones’s personal space has always been a consideration in our relationship with others. Many of us are uncomfortable with someone, especially a stranger, getting too close, too quickly. In the past few weeks there has been a special emphasis on this in the form of social distancing.
This is nothing new and unique to these times. I covered it in “Introducing Yourself to a Baby” back in my post of May, 2016. My post in March, 2017, “Making a Baby Smile” is related to this. This may be a good time to cover it again, in more depth.
When meeting another person it is a good practice to not rush in and get too close, too quickly. Respect their personal space until you are invited into it. This true of babies and children.
I try to say “Hi” and introduce myself from a respectful distance, not just because I am advised by some public health official but because it is the decent thing to do. We have all experienced the person who rushes in too close, too soon. It can make us uncomfortable. This is true with infants and children. Respect their space and look for their reaction to you and let their smiles or other expressions invite you to get closer.
Many decades ago, when I first started to train photographers, one of my most basic instructions was: If a child reacts negatively, starts to cry, back up to the camera, about ten feet, and engage them from that distance. Immediately.
My style has evolved and become much more refined but it is still good advice. Today I advise always starting off slow and from a respectful distance. This is not because of public health advice in these special times. This is the best way for all of us to get along on this planet. At all times.
My “Making a Baby Smile” post from March, 2017, is an example of eager, well-meaning people pushing an otherwise sociable person over the edge, a two month old baby. Mom had brought her into her place of work, a child care center. Everyone was eager to meet the new baby. It was, after all, their life’s work, babies.
By the time she got back to me the child was done socializing with intrusive strangers, well-meaning as they might be. She wouldn’t look at me. I could not get eye contact. She wouldn’t even look at her mother. She just stared at the nearest wall. She was too polite to cry. She expressed her mood in the most civil way possible, ignoring all of us.
I discussed the situation with Mom and suggested that feeding her and giving her a break from human contact (except for Mom, of course) might help. I also advised Mom not to play with her a lot. Let her chill out. Mom agreed and brought her back a short time later. She and I became great friends and we got some great pictures.
Not just in these times of social distancing, but in all of our interactions with people, don’t rush in too quickly. Give people a chance to react to you and pay attention to that reaction. It will improve not only your chances with that person, but it will improve our whole world. Respect other people’s space.
The pictures at the top of this post are a repeat of images used in a previous post. The younger child had a history of reacting badly for pictures. The director of the preschool the older child attended convinced the mother to let me photograph her. She was no different than the many thousands of infants her age that I have photographed in the past few years. I just didn’t make too many mistakes and I was able to keep Mom from making too many.
The pictures of the two month old baby are below.
